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The Hotties
Here's the real deal:
Catherine *Cat* (in the white shirt) was born on December 12, 1986. She is a rising junior in South Carolnia, but is forbidden to disclose any further information as she is in the witness protection program. She is a kick ass jazz dancer, and, if i do say so myself, one hot and sexy momma. In her free time she likes to hang out with friends and go to the movies. She has also starred in several adult films, and reportedly dated Curious George (I swear I saw them making out in her bed one day).
I (Ashlee Kazanjian in the green shirt) was born on July 18, 1986. I am a rising junior at Cherry Hill High School East in Cherry Hill, New Jersey. I play lacrosse, soccer, and run track, none of which i have an talent at whatsoever. In my free time I like to jaywalk, scare old people and little children, and watch reruns of Baywatch. I am at the moment dating David Hasselhoff, who is currently in rehab at the Betty Ford clinic because whenever we go out he drinks way too much. I am happy to say that I make sure all of his body hair is removed every 6 weeks.
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Our Favorite Quotes and Their Meanings
-"Schwing!" - Our code word for telling each other that we see a hot guy (Wayne's World fo eva)
-"My perfect man smells like Chinese food" - I said this to Cat about a guy named Rob(schwing!) that I think is hot (Rob, if you ever read this, I like Chinese food so it wasn't an insult!)
-"Do you want to use my wrist brace?" - a scary 30 or 40 something dude kept asking Cat this question at the bowling alley
-"Stay away from Chaaaaaaaalie" - Charlie is what we named the man in jail while playing Monopoly, and after a while he starts to get a lil antsy for some action
-"My aching ovaries" - I said this to our friend Brenton while he was sitting on my stomach...just my luck to get my period the next day
-"Uh...I have female problems" - I said this to some dude that wouldn't leave me and Cat alone at Carowinds so he would stop asking me to ride the Log Flume with him...needless to say, he left me alone
-"Look at all these white people! They need to make a store just for black people. I'm gonna smack one of 'em in the face just for all the black folk!" - said by an extremely indignant little girl in Express
-"Mommy! I want my mommy!" - said by David Hasselhoff while being attacked by Chyna
-"You are very, very special" (pronounced vewy vewy speshoo)- for some reason, when I said this in an Asian accent to Cat she proceded to laugh and spit red Fruitopia all over my bright green shirt
-"uh....ahhhhh......uuuuhhhhh....fart" - while talking about sex one night, we thought about how funny it would be to hear someone fart during sex (yes, we are aware of the fact that we are freaks)
Special Shout Out
Rob, you told me that you wanted me and Cat to have a shoutout section and say hi to ya...well, I'm too lazy to go through the trouble of doing that for everyone at the moment, but we'll do one just for you - we luv ya tons and want to have every single one of your children; don't ever get rid of your webcam; most importantly, always listen to hot porno music no matter what time of day
Coming soon: shoutouts to Curtis, Stefan, etc.
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